what i am listening to.

please, please, please- everyone that i know- please listen to this.
it's to late for my situation, i mean- way to late. sam could have listened to this many many years ago, like 10, before we were even married. it doesn't matter for us now. because the damage has been done.
i will blog more about us. but listen to this. with your spouse. with your friends. with your study.

go to this site:
http://www.fcfmv.org/site/audiodownloads.asp?sec_id=1120&nc=1327174579715.55

and its the 1/15 sermon- God's Will is Easy to Know.
Please. listen to it.
And know that i am.
with not just regret, but with hope for my own future.

outings.

the weather here has been crazy. i am pretty confident that in a few short weeks you will hear the never-ending complaining coming from my mouth on the heat. our new little house has energy efficient windows and ceiling fans. i need to find a window that will open correctly for our little ac, because i have never been fully pregnant during a summer in california and i am very much afraid.

monday it was beautiful. high 70's, clear skies- the kids played outside all day. and then monday night the storms came in, and yesterday it rained all day. and today it has done pretty much the same (with the exception of wild hail storms).

so when i just before 7 am to ice cold feet on my nice warm back (campbell) and realized the dreadful rain was going to keep my energetic kids bouncing off the walls, i decided to do what i really never ever do. venture out with them.

if this blog serves as any kind of AA- mine would be this: ATGOWMKIPA

translation: afraid to go out with my kids in public anonymous (side note, i spelled anonymous correct my first attempt!)

hi, my name is mary.

it's true. i am constantly afraid of the crazy that will occur. and because my fear is becoming "that women" everyone is a store is looking at as she drags her screaming child away from something..... well, i prefer to stay in my own 4 walls and watch the madness occur without any judgement.

but today was different. sam's heading out for 4 long days as he climbs mt. hood (he climbed last may, but didn't summit-aka, make it to the top) and i just knew i couldn't start my alone time already frustrated by the unfortunate side affect the rain causes my children.

so where did our great adventure take us?

first we stopped and had coffee and scones with sam. all of sam's customers love seeing the little mini sams as we come into the store. its fun. and i really needed more coffee. had i not got the perfect spot right in front of his store, i might not have braved the pouring rain. after fueling up we headed to:

target.

but we did go all the way to roseville (45 minutes away) and as we started our jaunt in the store, i let campbell and mason each pick our a very inexpensive toy. it was their preemptive reward for behaving (and this really worked, because they were very content). i "helped" campbell select a 97 cent toy car (because he really doesn't need anymore toys) and mason got a tiny little baby doll (that had a backpack with a bottle and keys).

2 happy toddlers, and one baby strapped to my chest. he really can't be there much longer, his new sibling won't love being kicked and squished by a big brother.

from target- to winco. i know, we really know how to have a good time. but we needed some staples, and i kept thinking that strapped to me and in a grocery cart was better than watching them tear our house apart.

it was slightly better. the kids were happy, eventually campbell had to get out of the cart to make room for more groceries. he kept suggesting food, but didn't get mad if i said no. we had one moment that i was sure was going to turn into the biggest disaster in the world (a kind of disaster that would have me never venturing out again). i turned from grabbing something canned to see campbell with the biggest GLASS jar of pickles you could imagine. it must have been the grace of God that i made it to him and the glass before disaster occurred.

by the end of grocery shopping, henry was flipping out in the sleepy wrap. no big surprise- he was 3 hours past a much needed nap, and had created something quite unpleasant in his diaper. as i was loading my groceries up onto the belt (wait, i never remember this part of grocery shopping- oh yea, sam does that) and then packing my groceries into bags (again, what? oh yeah, sam....) i did at one point think briefly about leaving the paid groceries where they were and fleeing.

you see, i had put henry in the empty cart so he would stop fighting me for freedom. only to realize how quickly i needed to be filling the cart with bags of groceries. i somehow trapped my purse strap in the sleepy wrap making it unable to get him back in it (all the while having the most foul smell in my face) and to top it off campbell kept trying to push the cart away from me.

but. no horrid screaming incidents. no potty emergencies at the wrong time. no meltdowns.

of course, as i exited winco it had started to rain. no worries, i had the perfect george spot. i was able to keep my groceries dry, strap in campbell and mason, and then change henry. of course, my back was absolutely drenched as i changed him, because the foul smell had exploded everywhere- including his clothes.

however, groceries got loaded (even though i was willing any bystander to take them so i wouldn't have to deal with them, as i remembered- sam usually loads them in the van and unloads them for me) and we headed off to (don't judge me) wendy's for lunch. where after finishing my food, i went back through the drive-thru for a frosty for me and the kids.

everyone was very happy.

we filled up the van with much cheaper gas prices, i started "a bug's life" and watched henry and mason fall asleep for part of the drive.

pulled into grass valley about the same time the sky opened up and started a downpour mixed with rain and hail. sure. i ran into the house, switched out of my flip flops and unloaded the groceries while the kids watched their movie. then headed back to sam's store (really just to drive around while the kids happily finished their movie) and while we were there, lighting filled the sky as the same time thunder crashed above and then: HAIL. it was awesome.

awesomer that i had to drive home and unload the kids in all of it.

but we survived. i survived. and now i sit for a quiet moment, and share the great adventures we had today. the house is a little bit messy, the kids are "napping"- hey, they are in their beds and not fighting at my feet, that is fine.

maybe i will be able to handle 4 kids. i figure if i don't practice letting campbell walk around on his own, release a little of my fear and trepidation on going out in public with my crew, then i will just completely isolate myself instead. and that isn't good for me or for the kids.

however, if you hear any "crazy red-headed woman what looked like a small daycare" stories on the news, just smile and maybe pray :)

a little bit of chaos.

what 3 kids, 3 and under, looks like when you are trying to take a family shot.

and here, a tad more organized.

the return.

home at last. and i need a vacation.

3 nights away from our little house, in an even smaller cabin with more people. yikes. have you ever noticed how 3 little children's cries are suddenly quite louder in less space? its funny.

sam's family reunion was held in lake of the woods, oregon. i have decided that while yes, the little resort is located in the woods, and yes- there is a lake. this title truly doesn't grasp an accurate description. let's try this:

lake of the how in the world can there be this many mosquitoes living in one place, and what are they, some kind of super breed that uses insect repellent as a way to extend their life?

hmmm... something tells me that title won't attract as many victims... i mean guests, to lake of the woods.

all misery aside, it was hotter than heck, and the kids were stressed to their core.

wait- all misery aside right? whoops.

i am really glad to be home. and do feel in desperate need of a vacation. so one of these days i just need to pick some time to take a long break (with my nursing baby in tow).

family vacation was the perfect time to play around with my brand new blackberry.

although, i could not figure out how to blog from it, i was able to check up on my reader, but not able to make a ton of comments... wait- none.

perhaps i will get a handle on this whole technological thing.

still not quite sure why i have a cell phone, seeing that i am either home, or home, or home, or glued to the computer, or home, or home, or home.

but now i can text sam, and that makes me happy. and it proved to be most useful when i needed to send some texts to my sis and some chats to the bff during the stressful legs of our vacation.

for now, i am home. and wondering what a vacation without children will look like.