transitions and sleepy time.

i probably should be going off to bed. i do still have a little baby who likes to wake up and nurse. and i have a 3 year old who wakes up when his bladder tells him too (a blessing and a curse).

but i have my shuffle blasting music into my ears (i love the Desperation Band) which is giving me a little more motivation to stay awake (however, i am worried that sam will appear behind me, which will be embarrassing, since i am singing out loud).

i have absolute randomness on the brain.

today i went to grab the plastic wrap, but it was snagged in the drawer where i keep it. so when i went to pull it up and out, i ended up slicing the backside of my fingers. i should have been given an award for not swearing in front of campbell.

i went on a minor cooking rampage with campbell by my side. i made cranberry/pecan scones (which tasted awful), apple cinnamon muffins (yum,yum,yum), blueberry coffee cake (i have women's Bible study tomorrow morning, and its kind of a brunch potluck), homemade pizza (delicious), and then i actually made dinner for tomorrow and wednesday, and the night was ended with amazing hand constructed frozen yogurt parfaits.

and yet even though i home schooled campbell and mason today (mason who will now moo when asked what a cow says, and campbell who is memorizing poems, and talking about the pumpkins and apples of fall), exercised, and kept the house kinda clean all while managing 3 little ones, cutting into 2 bridesmaid dresses, and cut out fabric for a skirt- i feel horridly unproductive.

what is wrong with me?

the bridesmaid dresses that i volunteered* to hem, or in this case, hide the fact that we aren't doing a hem and simply add ribbon.

*i can never say no, but i am happy to help

you were warned about the randomness of this post.

i just have to many ideas, and way to many ways i want to spend my time.

has anyone seen the movie multiplicity? i would sign up for that in an instant, and probably sit on the couch and watch myself sew.

the harsh realities of life have been grabbing at my heart lately. i'm going through a transition i do not like, but am willing to embrace what the Lord is doing in my life (not totally happy about it, but trusting).

and i am watching pain.

and it just sucks.

but i do believe that i have been given one amazing outlet: i am writing. and i keeping a lot of the info about that under wraps. sam says, "you are a writer", and i laugh.

but in my heart, i know i have something to tell.

and now the beautiful voice of peter from the newsboys plays in my ears (oh becki, do you remember swooning over the concert dvd in jake's apartment???)

"my comforter, my all in all, here in the love of Christ, i'll stand"

if you were looking for random tonight, you came to the right place.