oh the long days of my heart

it has been a long day. and self-admittedly, i should probably close my computer and not let my fingers slip over the black keys of my computer.
but my heart is heavy. and i don't know why.
i have no desire for a heavy heart. but a happy heart. a happy heart. bombs away.
seriously.
i've been chatting with a friend. well, we are friends now. both facing inevitable loss. and i am thankful to the Lord, that we can be friends. and as i sit here, in the dark, smelling amazing things, contemplating my life, wondering what the Lord will do, and wishing i hadn't thought it would be wise to drink my dad's beer after i had had more than enough wine. oh well. its been a long day.
everything makes it long.
and then the Lord shows me: perspective.
how much more He can do. how much more He does.
what He is capable of, and how much He loves all of us. He does. He loves us.
and He will catch us if we fall.
He will.
His will. His plan. His all knowing love and power. Nothing has happened that His hand wasn't in. and that is the truth. it is. as i sit here, sobbing. and not for myself. i am happy. i am.
but i know, there are others, who aren't.
thank You Lord, for who You are.
You've got me.
and i know that.
i know it deep down in the pit of everything. as everything spins around me.