Reflections

My new baby is a week old.  Sigh.  I feel a little like this first week was robbed from me.  Spending 36 extra hours at the hospital was not part of the plan at all!  You can read more about that here (if you want)

Pregnancy is just the strangest thing.  It completely consumes your life.  Everything you do revolves around the growing baby in your belly.  All your thoughts, prayers and wishes- just everything becomes about the belly for 9 1/2 long long long long long months.

And then in a brief moment its all over.

Pregnancy feels like it lasts forever, labor comes and then the baby is there. Forever.

He's here and he is beautiful.  And he truly consumes all my time- because I want him to right now.  I am trying hard to make sure I am not completely ignoring my other children, but that is why Sam has taken a lot of time off- to make sure I have the time to sit and watch my baby.

Which is why I haven't really been here in the blog world.  Because when it comes to wanting to put Henry down and pick up the computer, well I barely want to do it.  

This time is so quick.  And then it too is over.

And thinking that Henry will soon be walking around, chasing his brother and sister makes we want to sit and cry for a little while.

And makes me want another baby.  Shush- don't tell.

But i know Sam really doesn't want any more kids.  So, I am just praying.  Not that I'll get pregnant (because, man i hate being pregnant) but that I will be content with what the Lord has given me.  And if the Lord wants to give this little family another child to love, I will welcome that, and if the Lord wants me to focus on these 3 little miracles and my husband, then I will continue to be blessed by that.

It is just hard, because I feel internally engineered to produce children.  My hearts desire to be a mother, but that doesn't mean there is a number that equates to that desire.

Oh- and this feeling changes almost as quickly as I change Henry's diapers.  When Campbell is melting down, and Mason is screaming from a diaper change, I can't imagine one more child.

Content in any situation.  With any situation.  

I am so blessed.

Momma and Henry