money.

today i feel really tired of stuff.  sick and tired of all this clutter in my house.  i asked (made) Sam take the two older kiddos and leave for a bit.  Sam has been great- a huge help, making meals, changing diapers, and letting me get lots of extra sleep.  but still... he isn't me, and he doesn't see the "mess" i see, and he doesn't always put things where they are supposed to go.

so after 3 weeks of keeping things low key, i needed to try and play a bit of catch up.

hard to do when there is so much laundry it makes my head hurt (the enormous amount of laundry is in part due to a family of 5, and not made any lighter by the fact that we have tried to potty train Campbell- lots of accidents means more dirty clothes, and Henry has been projectile spitting up, and has been making a huge mess on lots of things).

anyways.

while racing around as quickly as i could to get some things done, i just couldn't help but notice how much junk... i mean stuff... we have.  it just feels like too much stuff!

and then i had to move some clothes into bins out in the garage, and there we have even more JUNK!

and i feel a little like the walls are just pushing in around us.

3 little kids.  the inability to play outside (weather and box elder bugs make it impossible).  

and money.  i know that eventually we will need to move.  and that just makes me stress about money.  because i don't really earn any income for this little family.

and i spend.

so as i was engulfing in all of this stuff, i think about what i often do.

i'll say this: "i have everything i need, i don't need anything else".... but... and then i list off many different things that "would be nice to have".

well i am tired of doing that.  i am really sick of tired of thinking that i need something new.

i am tired of spending money when we have so much stuff.

so, for the rest of the year, this is the only stuff i want to spend extra money on:

*gifts for others (includes showers and parties)

* notions for sewing.  i do not need any new fabric. i have so much.  and the 2 dollar sale just happened, so i will wait.  but i cannot say no money to spend on sewing- because occasionally i will need more thread, or bias tape or a zipper.

* crayons and stickers at the dollar tree.  little Campbell loves to play with these things, and we do run out of these.

*vacations and camping

*homeschooling supplies (i am going to try and not spend more than $75 dollars in this year)

well i don't know how well i will stick to this.  but i really want to.

i just want to be content.  and i am really content.  i need to get rid of some of this clutter and stop buying the little things we don't need.

sometimes being a grown up just isn't fun.