my empty freezer

well my freezer really isn't empty at all.  it is in fact jammed full of tons of different foods to be consumed.  however, it is missing the one thing i wanted tonight: vanilla ice cream.  we were given a strawberry rhubarb pie two nights ago.... and it really sounds better warmed with vanilla ice cream.  

but, alas.  all we have is rocky road.  and i do not like that.  serves me right for telling sam "just don't get coffee ice cream" for now i will amend that to, "not coffee and not rocky road".

well, i had decided (while on my wii fit balance board) that i wouldn't have pie and ice cream- just ice cream.  hmmm. i really don't want pie.

so perhaps a bowl of cereal?

i've seen those kellogs commericals, and they talk about not undoing your whole day- and having their fancy flakes with chocolate pieces.

that personally sounds disgusting.  because i ONLY like cheerios.  just plain, and with a ton of really cold milk.  the milk has to be cold.

which is why i am not consuming cereal right now- because sam just went out 20 minutes ago and go the milk, and it may not be cold enough.

why such a boring post?  well, i was going to post pictures of finished "Easter" bags that i made for all 3 kiddos.  however, i hate the way the pictures turned out.  and seeing that we have a fancy new lens for our camera, i know i can take better pictures than that.

so i am boring you with stories of ice cream and cereal.

but it really branches at a deeper level in my core.

weight.

the hardest part for me about pregnancy is the weight gain.  and now, here i am with my beautiful new little boy, and i have the wonderful energy (ish) and this exciting new jest for life (seeing that my energy and excitement is no longer growing a child) and i feel rejuvenated and beautiful.

and then i look in the mirror.  or try to put on pants that don't have elastic.

and i feel slightly crushed.

and yes, i know that it has only been 2 weeks... blah blah blah.

i am just saying my mood doesn't match what i see.

i lost a lot of weight after mason.

almost 20 lbs in 10 weeks- for a wedding i was in.

and then a few days after the wedding, found out i was unexpectedly expecting henry.

and was crushed.

but now, things have changed for me.

i'm not as in a hurry to "lose it all" (although i wish i could somehow now lose it all, but be in my old clothes again, it just doesn't work that way)

i don't want to necessarily go back to weight watchers ( it is a fantastic program).  but i have small kids, and a life, and i don't want to be constantly nitpicking every single thing i eat.

after doing the program twice before i do know how to make smart changes.

1) i no longer drink coffee creamer (i was using more than my daily amount of points on coffee creamer alone)

2) and go easy on the cheese (another thing i overly ingested)

well, this really as turned into nothing of real importance at all.

i just really wanted to blog tonight, and my pictures didn't turn out, and henry just finished nursing for a session of almost 3 hours.  off and on....

and i finally had the opportunity to sit and type.

sorry if this was incredibly boring.

but i think i will go and eat my cheerios now.

and remind myself that my body will return.  9 months on 9 months off.

and really, my body isn't what i really want to be known for.

i want to be known for following the first commandment, loving the Lord, and loving people.

hmmmm....