Tuesday, February 21, 2012

happy thoughts for a happy heart.

that's one of the labels i use for some of my posts. it comes from how i feel after watching Madame Blueberry from veggie tales. i love veggie tales.
"a thankful heart is a happy heart".
and you know what- i think that i might have the happiest heart in the world. because i am just so thankful for all that the Lord has done for me.
"you give and take away, my heart will choose to say, Lord Blessed by Your Name"

He does take away. He took the old life i had, and gave me all His love. i know from the outside looking in, it must just look odd. i mean, my entire life over the last 10 years was just picked up and dumped upside down. but you know what really happened- all the sin and darkness and pain and sorrow and hurt and sadness that is what got dumped out. the Lord picked my life up, and held on to me, and shook everything else off of me.
He took. and He gave. and my heart pretty much shouts as loud as it can, Blessed is HIS Name.
and how am i really not so sad and devastated? well, honestly, sin overtakes every area of your life, and the sin that was in my marriage pretty much consumed and destroyed any good. and i am thankful to the Lord for the pain that was happening for so long, because when the Lord shook it off of me, i was left with my Savior. and the path He put me on. and i'm not lost. i mean, sure, i don't always know where north is(apparently its always the top of a map) but i know that with my eyes focused on the Lord i can follow His path for me.
a thankful heart IS a happy heart.

157) there's a little girl sitting next to me pretending to be a dog.

158) and 10 minutes before we were playing beauty shop. i love how quick her mind can jump from one thing to the next.

159) some night. new music from my second favorite band.

160) for constant encouragement.

161) for the boys at my coffee shop. i can say boys. they are either soooooo young, or i am really old. yesterday, alex looked at me and said i looked frustrated (cause i'm usually perky and laughing) and derek just looked at my frustrated face and said, "perseverance". i tip these young boys well. i am thankful for pleasant faces that now my struggles, and actually care about the old woman sitting at the bar.

162) hugs from my sister Jess. be able to greet her with a latte and a smile. the grace that God gives.

163) headphones that don't stick in my ears.

164) for reassurance on my fronts that the headphones don't make me look like a major dork.

165) confidence in knowing i am a total dork. and that's okay.

166) dancing with all of my kids today. watching little Henry's dance moves. sadly too similar to mine. poor kid.

167) texts from my little brother Paul. he's coming home soon. it makes me happy. very happy.

168) a message from Serena that made me laugh so loud Campbell came to see what was wrong.

169) for knowing the Lord has been in His arms, even when i am confused.

170) my mother who makes me dinner every night.

171) resting in knowing that His Grace is enough.

172) remembering to draw on the truth of the Lord when in difficult situations. and seeing a change of behavior in myself- drawing closer to Him, being better for Him.

173) for mengage toi red wine, mushrooms, and jack cheese.

174) the huge hugs from an eager 18 month old baby.

175) new music in my headphones. i know i was already thankful for new music. but i'm really thankful.

176) campbell, mason, henry, and wilder. the 4 most amazing things i have ever done. my ministry.

177) the freedom from darkness to be a better mom. not perfect. if i were perfect i wouldn't need Jesus.

i am a very thankful woman. i have a very happy heart.
if you would, pray for my baby sister. she has to have a tooth pulled tomorrow. no drugs. i can't even think about it without my body going fairly numb. she is brave for that baby of hers. already sacrificing her own comfort for her daughter.
she's a mom already, and she doesn't even realize it.

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