survivial

my blog of utter frustration late monday night, could have very well have been followed by another blog of utter frustration tuesday night, but i was exhausted and felt like all of my complaining combined with even more complaining wouldn't be uplifting or encouraging to anyone- probably not even myself.

so self-loathing and moping on the couch was what i did instead.

however! my week of work is over.  and i only have 3 more days.  and then never again.  which is weird to say, because i am sure that in a few years i may get myself a fun part time evening job (few years is relative- this could be like 10, but i also tend to thrive on an overfull plate, and so i may find something in a few years- who knows, don't hold me to anything).  

but you know what. i do have a job! a pretty darn full time job.  the list of job requirements i have i think would be overwhelming to most people, plus when they see the hours i work- oh my. but i do love it.  even when i am hating it, and frustrated, i love it.

but i am so ready to have my husband and my children be my full focus.  i am excited to have nothing as a responsibility other than my husband, my children, my home, and being an encouragement to the people i love.

i love my husband, and i love my children.

and having my husband smile at me over his dinner, and my son reciting his memory verses, and my daughter toddling around always laughing at me, i know i can find my contentedness in this.

and i know why i am doing this.  for my Lord.  to be an example of His Love, and i know i fail all the time.  but when i keep my mind focused on that.  i may feel a little discouraged because i know that i have so far to go, but i find encouragement in it.

i hope and prayer is that i continue to grow. that i will be a better child of Christ, a more kind and loving wife, and a more patient, consistent, and loving mother.

all things through Him.